And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
