That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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