i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
It's just like the Real World with babies
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
