I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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