No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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