Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
