I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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