Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
