I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
