There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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