PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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