so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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