Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
