D3 body, D1 cock
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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