what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
