That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
