Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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