that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
i now understand why vodka
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
