Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
