MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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