She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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