Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
