Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
