oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Shame - the story of my life.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize