Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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