My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize