We're like a lot better than the average bears
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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