ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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