I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
