If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
