i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
