I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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