you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
