Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
