PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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