Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
