He asked to "fluff my boner.."
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
