How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
