Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
