i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
