i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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