Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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