Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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