South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
