I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
