This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
