I feel like abortions should bother me more
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I want to be your penis for a week.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
