I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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