No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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