Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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