we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
