I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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