worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
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