did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
That's how pantless uber rides happen
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
