Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
The power of my boobs compel you
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
