What a fucking waste of an outfit
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
as a side note pls kill me
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
