i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
