Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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