woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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