oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
