how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
where does the pee come out of this thing
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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